Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , NC

If life is a waste of time,
And time is a waste of life,
Then let’s all get wasted together
And have the time of our lives.

Armand’s Pizza, Washington , DC

No matter how good she looks,
Some other guy is sick and tired
Of putting up with her shit.

Men’s Room
Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC

At the feast of ego
Everyone leaves hungry.

Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , AZ

=0 A

It’s hard to make a comeback
When you haven’t been anywhere.

Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg , AZ

Make love, not war.
Hell, do both

Women’s restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT

If voting could really change things,
It would be illegal.

Revolution Books
New York , New York .

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Men’s restroom House of Representatives,
Washington , DC

Express Lane:
Five beers or less

Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic’s,  Phoenix  ,  AZ

You’re too good for him..
Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom
Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hill s ,CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom,
Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hill s ,CA

~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~

A Woman’s Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
You’re going to have trouble with it

Women’s restroom
Dick’s Last Resort,  Dallas  ,  TX



Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.



To be happy with a man, you must understand

him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman,
you must love her a lot and
not try to understand her at all.



Married men live longer than single men do,

but married men are a lot more willing to die…


A woman marries a man expecting he will change,

but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting
that she won’t change, and she does.


A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.


Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me
in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.”
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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