Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , NC

If life is a waste of time,
And time is a waste of life,
Then let’s all get wasted together
And have the time of our lives.

Armand’s Pizza, Washington , DC

No matter how good she looks,
Some other guy is sick and tired
Of putting up with her shit.

Men’s Room
Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC

At the feast of ego
Everyone leaves hungry.

Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , AZ

=0 A

It’s hard to make a comeback
When you haven’t been anywhere.

Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg , AZ

Make love, not war.
Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!

Women’s restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT

If voting could really change things,
It would be illegal.

Revolution Books
New York , New York .

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men’s restroom House of Representatives,
Washington , DC

Express Lane:
Five beers or less

Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic’s,  Phoenix  ,  AZ

You’re too good for him..
Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom
Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hill s ,CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom,
Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hill s ,CA

~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~

A Woman’s Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
You’re going to have trouble with it

Women’s restroom
Dick’s Last Resort,  Dallas  ,  TX

0A



ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

______________________________
SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.

_____________________________

_____________________
HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand

him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman,
you must love her a lot and
not try to understand her at all.

______________________________

LONGEVITY


Married men live longer than single men do,

but married men are a lot more willing to die…
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change,

but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting
that she won’t change, and she does.
_____________________________


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE


A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.

_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING
YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me
in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.”
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s